"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
