How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
