Already got asked if we're dating
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
