Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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