i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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