I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
