forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
