if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
