9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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