I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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