Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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