Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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