hell yes lets make some ravioli
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
