12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
