apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
