I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
