Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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