weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
