I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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