So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
How naked do you want me to be?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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