Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
