Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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