all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
