Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
