I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
