Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
