Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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