We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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