I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
