Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
