Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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