I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
