So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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