You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
