vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
