I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
