i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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