I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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