so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
