I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My vagina is very pro this idea
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
