Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
