Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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