Got a toothbrush?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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