can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
