Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
