So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
