I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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