He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
