I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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