You can't special order awesome
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
