i just google imaged poop.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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