did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
