Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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