Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
