I want you more than these girls want KFC
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
