...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
