Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I want to make a zoo with you.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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