and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
